Weighted Down

Weight gains and losses are always topical at my school. (We are – in part – a gym.)  We celebrate the losses and commiserate over increases.  It’s not just a girl thing – many of the gentleman are equally likely to exult or brood over the tip of the scale.

I’m gaining weight at an alarming rate.  I know why and it’s not particularly helpful.  More internalization and less talking leads directly to distracted and ineffective work outs and unhealthy eating.  “Not good enough” turns into “it doesn’t matter” then “why am I bothering” which circles right around into a head on collision with “not good enough.”

Getting off that negative round a bout is difficult but I know (from experience) that it’s not impossible.

One of my initial attractions to our school was the motto we go over and over with the children.  Pilsung!  I can do it!  But for all the wrong reasons, I’ve stopped applying it to myself. I need to recover my confidence, and verve.

Then everything about me could be a little lighter.

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