Tired. Opened up an old file prior to this blog to see if there was anything easily modified and posted. This was the first entry I opened. Very telling.
An Attitude Adjustment
Friday last, as is wont to happen or it wouldn’t be my life, the other shoe fell. It felt more like someone hurled it with surprising ferocity at my chest, just as I was about to exhale, knocking me down and constricting my ability to breathe. I thought, perhaps, I would lay down and pull the covers up over my head and stay there. Forever.
I made a deliberate decision to banish those feelings the following day. It was simple because there was an event (tournament) which I had been happily anticipating. I let everything else go, called out my most positive self and had an amazing day.
The rest of the week has been a constant battle with those positive and negative forces. Probably similar to your experience. It’s way to easy to get caught up in ourselves. Forget that everyone is being challenged. I’m not a hug person – should say I like to be hugged but I don’t think, outside of my children, I have ever initiated one. But I’ve been thinking about that contact more and more. I like the idea of a transfer of energy, a sharing of strength.
I really didn’t want to go to class tonight. So I knew I needed to go. Had to go. By the time class was over I felt so much better. And I am reminded (again!) that how I feel is up to me. I can choose to feel bad or I can take back my breath, give myself a hug and choose happiness.