Hard and Fast

Writing 101 challenge day 1 – Just write. 20 minutes…go! Sadly, when I write a stream of consciousness, it always ends as a rant. But maybe it will help expel my brick breaking demons. Because even as I reread the post – I still want to try again.

 grey brick

He asks me what I want to practice and I never say. “The brick.” It is a block worse than any pause in my writing. It’s a nightmarish, try/fail, try/fail, try/fail with hundreds of witnesses. All of whom afterwards want to give you friendly helpful advice. Can you imagine – while icing your now swelling hand, listening to the successful saying you should just twist more, or come down straight or you need to jump. At least when something I write doesn’t go over – not so many people will see. I can delete it or wad it up and throw it in the trash. Make a paper air plane and fly it out the window. I’ve witnessed others break. Looks easy enough. I listen to the instructions. I try to practice the motions. But now, when I think about it – it’s something I no longer believe. And worse yet, I don’t think my instructors believe any more either. The “You’ll break it someday.” has morphed into “It’s not required.You don’t need to worry about it.”  But deep down I still want it. So I breathe and visualize. Approach the grey offending slab. Camera flashes blinding. Tablet screens up, recording the event so I can suffer the humiliation over again “but if you watch it you can see where you made the mistake.” Echos of “You can do it” I go through the mandatory practice reaches and drops. Even in my mind, I can’t get enough air. Kiap is weak.Too slow, my arm shoots down off center. And my hand stops as always, on top of the unbroken brick. They say if you do it correctly, it doesn’t hurt. When you do it wrong, the pain reverberates on so many different levels.

Hibernating

It began well.

I started 2014 with a positive sense of urgency.  But it’s been cold.  The finger numbing, bone chilling, thought freezing, don’t want to come out from under the covers, cold.

And when you don’t get out of bed, not much is written.

There’s not much we can do about the cold.

But I can write from beneath blankets!

In Defense of Fairy Tales (on censorship)

I sometimes have concerns about sharing my blog due to content. How much do you let friends or acquaintances or co-workers or your mother see?  I self censor myself rather harshly but even the hint of someone else telling me what I can or cannot share through my writing has me up in arms.  It made me remember this original poem – written as a response to a censorship discussion. (It might appear in this blog previously but a search didn’t pull it up.  It can be found in my book!)

In Defense of Fairy Tales
Distressing damsels vainly wait
in unreachable dark towers,
while poker playing princes
yawn at the late hour.
Wolves walk right past Grandma’s house;
the dwarves stay underground;
sirens see from fathoms deep,
but do not make a sound.
Giants hide in mountaintops,
where dragons breathing smoke,
watch the wizards magic fail,
and jesters tire of jokes.
Witches spells remain uncast,
no one wins or loses,
quests kept unaccomplished
by vanquishing the muses.
Children safely under wraps,
looking through the glass,
the forest is so harshly lit,
all can lamely pass.
Fairies fret and sadly wonder
why we must be burned,
and fail to see within their tales
lessons to be learned.

Kicks to the Head

I still don’t take criticism well.

It’s one of those things that we learn to deal with as a Martial Artist through competition and testings, but as a writer, it all seems terribly subjective – more of a personal attack than sparring. I would rather be kicked in the head (and I know from experience it’s not pleasant).

I was drawn to Tae Kwon Do because of the community. It is the same for blogging, although I find it harder to put myself out there.  Today’s Zero to Hero challenge addressed that hesitancy.  Our assignment was to find some topics and blogs to follow, understanding that’s an invitation for others to look at your work.

I created a blog list.  Some, I’ve been following forever.  Some, I started today.  I look forward to reading and will welcome your comments (while keeping my high block up). Take a look at the list.  They might inspire you as well.

Always Learning

I am teaching a self defense unit at an area high school. And as I remind them, I am reminded:

Anything you want to be good at you need to practice!

There’s no excuse for time away from writing or training because I want to be good.

And I can only change me.