I stopped using this format, working on a new poetry project and novel, but visited yesterday for work. And as I look back, I discover what’s been missing in my training lately. Accountability and priorities. I return to my Why – the study and practice of martial arts is a life long journey. It helps to keep track of where you have been and where you are going.
There’s a new little window that pops up with a blue flag now as I write a post:
The explanation promises that everything surrounding the editor will fade away when you start to typing.
I need everything surrounding this author to fade away as I write.
My children mock me because it’s October and I already have the holiday music station already playing. But I say the season is too short. I’ve been reflecting on the why. I think it’s about that sense of home.
And then I was cleaning out my phone and came across this note (written as part of the Writing 101 challenge which included a profusion of poems that never made it here but are scattered across random mediums):
I know a place where “can’t” is profane,
Where small steps become journeys,
And possibilities are endless.
That’s what keeps me training and what brings me back here, time and again, even after long absences.
Sometimes the only way to get around an obstacle is to change directions.
Tired of waiting for the snow to melt.
Working on a new routine to address training challenges and writing blocks.
I count out loud but say the moves in my head.
18 Low X block
19 Knee strike
It’s gone. So I start over. Again, stall at 19. Take it once more from the beginning but the remaining 32 moves at are inaccessible, lost somewhere in the recesses of my brain. The more frustrated I become, the less I can remember, despite patient reminders from the instructors. I head home from class disappointed, finding little consolation that I made it through the 486 combined moves of all my previous forms.
It would be easy to take the night off. Go to bed. Try again some other time. But that’s not what a black belt does. It’s not the example I wish to set for my students. Practice and perseverance set us apart.
So once everyone else is sleeping. I take out my cards. Breathe. Read and walk through it over and over until the light bulb blazes into being over my head. That joyful a-ha moment endorphin rush encourages a dozen more repetitions. And I wake up early, so I can do it again.
I love Martial Arts because it provides both physical and mental challenges. We need both to be our best selves.
It began well.
I started 2014 with a positive sense of urgency. But it’s been cold. The finger numbing, bone chilling, thought freezing, don’t want to come out from under the covers, cold.
And when you don’t get out of bed, not much is written.
There’s not much we can do about the cold.
But I can write from beneath blankets!